HOW LOW CAN ONE GO?
Sometimes I look back on my life and wonder “How Low could I go?” There were many things that I partook of that was totally wrong and was not acceptable by main stream people. I even went out of my way to bring somethings into my life that were not good for social gatherings. Even while I was married I would participate in these dirty pass times. I felt no indignation as I did the things I did, I felt no loss of self, no shame or anything like that. I did what I did for the feel good feeling, and that was it. Well, curiosity fell in there somewhere too.
If man knew half of the things I was able to do I would be an outcast to many, and a friend to a lot more than you can imagine. I never could have figured out how many were in the same boat as I was, but there are quite a lot of men, and women in the same fellowship of SIN that I was part of. I will not point any fingers towards them I will only speak of myself.
I was into ME and not others. I wanted to get all I could get to make ME feel good, to make ME complete. I thought I was the CHAMP of right living, there was little that I couldn’t accomplish or at least attempt to master. I was able to make the military a career, to move higher and higher, and then; it stopped at a certain level and I could not make it higher then that. So then I sought to make money doing what I had learned to do in the military and that worked for a while and one day it too ceased to function for MY good. Again as you can tell, it was all about ME. JOHN 1:4 & 5 In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the Darkness did not comprehend it.
Truth is that I was living in the darkness of life and not in the light. When I was a young lad, tender in my mothers eyes she would see to it that I was in church every Sunday morning, evening and Wednesday evenings as well; and that I participated in special events for the children and youth. All the while I was living in darkness and was not receiving any of the teachings or preaching’s that was coming forth from those who were speaking. I had a hard time grasping what was being taught as I watched adults acting indifferent in church just as I had done on Sunday school.
I made it my life’s goal to disrupt church and anything that had to do with church and God. I prided myself in the ability to show up young men and women who attempted to bring me into their belief system. They came at me with their Bibles and theologies trying to teach me the error of my ways, and they didn’t realize that I was way ahead of them in my knowledge and understanding. I had no trouble showing them up. They were not able to contain a man of MY stature. PROVERBS 23:7a For as he thinks within himself, so he is.
Then, at the ripe old age of 42, I had an epiphany. I learned a very hard lesson; that no matter what I thought, “IT WAS NOT ALL ABOUT ME”. That was a shocker at best to discover that I was only one in many and that I was never, nor could I ever, in charge of my forever. It was during this time that I learned how wrong a man can be within himself. To find out that I was idol worshipping myself all that time was a culture shock to say the least.
Saul, who was a very learned man, taught by Gamaliel in the ways of Judaism, the Law and so on, thought more highly of himself than he should have. He went about to destroy anything and all who followed after Jesus and His teachings. Saul knew what he had to do and set out to do just that. Now I am not saying that I was like Saul, but I came close. As he set out to arrest or even kill Christians he had an epiphany on that road to Damascus, he met with Jesus Christ, personally, and found himself blinded to reality. So too was I in my life, blinded to the ways of God in this world. And just like Ananias who heard the call of God to go to Saul and open his eyes I had a man in like manner speaking the Truth of God in my ears, and that was the day that I met the Resurrected Christ of the Bible.
I learned that I am not much, in fact I am but a worm in this life without God and His Son Jesus. I needed a Savior to Redeem me from myself and the world I built around me. I was heading for a devils hell, the abyss, and there would have been no way out once there. But because of the Love that God has for His Creations He sought me worth His effort to redeem me. Now, have a tale to tell, and that tale is the Story of Jesus and what He has done to me, through me, for me, and by me. His Story not mine.
As for how low can one go; I think I reached my bottom and at that time all I could do was look up! Look up to the only one who could pick me up and clean me up and set my feet on the right path. I will never cease to tell of my plight from heathenism to redemptionism. My rebirth into a new world of understanding and life.
If you are looking for a way out of a life similar to mine, you don’t have to look too far to attain what you need. Jesus Christ is right there where you are, and His ears of hearing are open to your cries. His Promises are true, trust Him and you will see. PRAY THIS PRAYER Dear Heavenly Father, I have read this post, and I know Where I am, and I need a Savior to draw me out of myself. Help me to find the right way for me to go, that I may see The way with open eyes and know for a fact that I have Been Redeemed. Save me Lord and I will be Yours. I Pray this in the Name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth AMEN!